


sapphire skies

by zappiix



Category: Silence in the Chaos
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Interracial Relationship, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, Original Character(s), SITC Webcomic, Shaianne Parker (SITC), Silence in the Chaos - Freeform, Sitc, Teen Romance, Ximena Lee-Romero (SITC), wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 16:38:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17145296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zappiix/pseuds/zappiix
Summary: just a short story abt two girls in love :)





	sapphire skies

**Author's Note:**

> **TW FOR RACISM/HOMOPHOBIA-INDUCED VIOLENCE**  
> an old honors english assignment starring the wlw girls from my webcomic!! im really proud of it so i touched it up. many parts allude to the book, "The Secret Life of Bees," since that was my assigned book for the civil rights unit. i sorta kinda poured my whole heart into this one so uhhhh enjoy!!

I like to consider myself an optimistic sort of person. I try to look at the good in everything, the bright side of every dim shadow. There’s some things that I can’t ignore, though. The looks and stares every time I express intimacy in public with my girlfriend. The cold eyes piercing my back, watching me, judging me. I pretend not to care, and so does she. But I know she does.

“Should we go somewhere else?” She asks me. I don’t want her to give in, but at the same time I want us to be safe. I want her to be safe.

“No,” I reply. “Don’t worry about it.”

There are times when it’s just the two of us, in her room, lying on the bed side-by-side. A relationship like ours would have never been possible decades ago. Even though things are better now, 1989 isn’t far enough into the future for two girls to love each other boundlessly.

“Ximena,” she says, her bronze-colored hand locking in mine.

“Yeah?” I say, almost a whisper.

“When do you think we’ll be free?”

“I don’t know, Shai.”

“I feel trapped.”

“Me too.”

Shaia and I have always been so close, stuck together like honey on a jar. We know each other better than we know ourselves. We're childhood friends-turned-sweethearts, after all, and we still both bring the child out in each other. It was always us exploring the world together, just girls being girls.

One time when we were in fifth grade, Shaia and I tried to capture bees in a jar, seeing if they would stay or go. I got stung once---I had to use my epipen and Shaia started crying. The second time, I was successful. I took them home; Shai's always been afraid of insects. I stared at them in the jar beside my bed, trapped inside.

“I’m like you,” I whispered.

When I awoke, they had settled at the bottom. I opened the lid outside to let them go, and they stayed settled at the bottom. They didn’t leave.

All, except for one.

 

~•—•~

 

Sometimes I wondered what would happen if we were two boys in love, seeking affection. It must be harder; girl-loving-girl relationships could possibly be passed off as close friendships. I hated that it was that way, but that was just the way things were. I hated the way things were.

It was the summer before senior year of high school, the Southern California heat sweltering and unmerciful. I met Shaia at our local ice cream shop, her dark skin shining in the midday sun. After we ordered, we sat at a booth for two on either side, hands intertwined and hidden underneath the table.

Our drink came, a strawberry milkshake with double whipped cream and two straws. We shared the drink, sipping on either side. It was times like these that I felt normal; like it was just her and me against the world. Like we were just two girls in love. Nothing more, nothing less. And it was okay.

After I paid we walked into an alleyway near the shop and she leaned against a wall and kissed me. I looked around for people, but it was just us. Just us.

“I love you,” she said softly as she ruffled my hair.

I stroked her cheek lightly. “I love you too.”

Our lips interlocked once more, right before she suddenly pulled back.

Everything that happened next was a blur.

A gang of dark figures came into my view, pushing me aside and grabbing Shaia by the throat. I was on the floor of the alleyway, and next thing I knew her face was dripping with dark red blood, as well as the wall behind her. Her eyes went blank, almost like her spirit was stolen out of her body. I stood up and started swinging at her persecutors, screaming and yelling and thrashing left and right, until I saw scarlet stains on my hands. A fire lit inside of me. I wanted to protect her.

The gang, who I now realized was a group of boys from our school, escaped out the way we came. I heard sirens in the distance, the sound of cars driving fast approaching. I wasn’t about to pull a Zach Taylor and be jailed for something I didn’t do. Well, something I did do, but didn’t want to get caught up in in the first place.

I lifted Shaia up and wrapped her arms around my chest, her unconscious and blood-stained body heavy against my back. Lucky her I was so strong, and that she was so small. I ran as fast as I could out of the alleyway and into a nearby bathroom. It was there that I treated her and my wounds. I washed her face and gave a kiss on the top of her head, hoping she’d wake up soon. She did.

“Hi,” she said, drowsily opening her amber eyes.

“Hi.”

 

~•—•~

 

After that day, something changed in her. Something sparked inside of me, while something in Shaia burned out. A beeswax candle that had been robbed of its wick.

She was more cautious in public---more than she used to be. She was jumpy. She wouldn’t answer my calls. She didn’t want to go out anymore. I could feel myself losing her. The fire in her soul I fell in love with years ago had gone out. I couldn’t understand why.

Until one day.

We were sitting together on the grass outside my house, staring up at the sapphire sky. I felt my hand twitch---it craved to touch hers.

She blurted out, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I felt a sharp pang in my chest. “What? What do you mean?”

“I can’t be with you anymore.”

My whole body went numb. I couldn’t believe it. I panicked, looking for something to say next. God, I _had_ to say something next.

“Why not?” I asked her, a lump forming in my throat.

“Everything,” she turned away from me. I could tell this was hard for her, like she didn’t want to do it. “I can’t stand for you to have this burden on you anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” I said, my voice cracking between the words.

“I don’t want you to feel the need to protect me. The world…” Her voice breaks. “The world out there is dangerous. Dangerous for you, and even more dangerous for me. It would be better off if we just stayed friends. It would keep you safe.”

I understood now. She was afraid. She _cared_ what people thought. She _felt_ the looks on her back. She was different from me. She wasn’t optimistic. She was a bee at the bottom of the jar.

I needed to help her escape.

“It would keep me _safe_ ?” I turned towards her once more. “Shai, the only time I truly feel safe is when I’m with _you._ ”

She looked at me with wide eyes. God, her eyes. They were the most powerful thing on this earth. They could shoot me dead through the heart if they wanted to. But they didn’t. Instead, they comforted me.

“I want to be with you,” she said through unshed tears, slowly raising her voice. “I do, I just... I’m trapped. I’m trapped in this stupid life, in this stupid town, at the wrong time and the wrong place---I’ll just _mess_ everything up and I’ll wind up getting us both killed and I _care_ about you _too much_ to do that!”

She shattered. Pieces of her soul scattered around us, her face flushed with pain and anger. She sat there, eyes wide with tears, glowing in the moonlight. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her head into my chest. In that moment, I felt all of her pain. I felt _her_ . All her agony, all her screaming and crying and everything I _couldn’t see._

Falling in love with Shaianne Parker taught me something:

The burden of pain is lighter when two people share it.


End file.
